We're Letting Mondays Down
We’re letting Monday down.
Do you ever wonder how Monday feels about people? If I were Monday, let’s just say, I would be feeling some kinda way about people. Here I am, a perfectly good day, timed out just right, just like the rest of the days, and ready to make one full rotation on Earth’s axis.
Then people show up. “Ugh… Mondays…” “they always come too soon…” “I’ve got a case of the Mondays…”
I’ve got news. It’s not Monday, people. It’s us. Mondays aren’t icky. We’re icky on Monday, and we can do better.
But how??
Well, let’s look at what makes people go. Amongst all of God’s creatures we have the unique ability to make connections amongst things, even (and especially!) where no connections exist. For example, these things you call “words” that you’re reading are black squiggles on a white background. In time and space, they have nothing to do with anything else. In your behavior, however, magic happens. You start interacting with them like they’re connected with things - objects, events, concepts, ideas, and other phenomena. When you make those connections (and you do it quite effortlessly; you probably have no experience of “making” anything), your experience shifts.
All of a sudden, you might be thinking of awful Mondays that you can remember. Your body might remember, just a little bit, of a cold, rainy Monday when you had a mild cold - not quite bad enough to keep you home, but just bad enough to make your back-to-back meetings a real slog.
Can you feel “The Mondays” now?? If yes, take a pause and note the profundity of your observation. All you did was interact with black squiggles on a white background, and here you are re-feeling “The Mondays.” It’s a trick of this ability to make connections and, I assert, it’s what puts each and every Monday on an uphill climb.
People who are susceptible to “The Mondays” aren’t just interacting with Monday. They’re connecting this particular day of the week with:
Another four mornings this week of being dragged out of sleep by an alarm clock.
Another four mornings of having to pick out appropriate clothes.
Another four mornings of scrambling to get the kids ready.
And that’s before you even get to work and see four more days of meetings, deadlines, and whatever else you deal with on a day to day basis.
So what? Well, if we have this magic ability to make connections, why not use that power for good?
That’s what values are about, and coming from the perspective that what makes humans - well, human - is our ability to make these connections, values aren’t so much things (like we usually talk about them) but more a particular way of making these connections.
Value-ing is connecting what;s going on here and now with something that really matters to you. And just like thinking about an awful Monday can alter your experience now, so can thinking of connecting to a bright future. Here’s what that looks like in practice.
A couple of weeks ago I was working with an executive team at their biweekly leadership meeting. I would characterize the mood as… fine… assuming “fine” includes a healthy dollop of stress. There was a lot to accomplish and a lot to plan for and, before the meeting even started, I could feel that the team was feeling it.
The CEO always starts the meeting with a celebration of wins. After everyone had gone around the room, I piped in. “Did you share with the team about the video message you got last week from that old client?” She hadn’t, and she lit up as she shared a really moving message about the difference work with her team had made.
The mood shifted a little. I made a second observation. Earlier in the month, the CEO had shared with me about attending a happy hour with a group of her employees, and the sense of community that was palpably present. I brought this up and the team nodded with satisfaction as I underlined that this is evidence for a really strong culture. The mood shifted a little more; things started feeling a little more than fine. The experience of making a meaningful difference was here, now - during the conversations about schedules, project timelines, and accountability.
That’s always available. However… this isn’t just positive thinking - the kind that, when overdone turns into what people call “toxic positivity.” Positivity gets “toxic” when people dont’ acknowledge that, yes, there are things I would rather be doing! Easier things. More stimulating things. Funner things! This isn’t about putting lipstick on a pig. Its about acknowledging that work can be hard AND fulfilling. So here are some steps to make the most of valuing.
Acknowledge the viewpoint people came in with. Give people a moment to acknowledge if they’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, “over” x y or z, etc. Acknowledge whatever emotions and feelings go along with that viewpoint. Importantly, don’t agree with it or try to fix it. Just acknowledge it. It’s the starting point.
Get willing (and invite people to get willing) to get a little corny. Let your hard heart soften up a little bit! Get “Hallmarky!” Remember, someday you’re going to die. Do you really want to spend your time fighting off your emotions??
Share (and better, ask people to share) about some difference that you see your work makes - for your clients, for their teams and communities, and so on.
Then go through a few iterations of the question: and what does that make available? What difference does that make? What would that be like? Each time you do, the connection between now and something worth working toward gets clearer and stronger.
Stamp it in. Acknowledge the team for being at the source of making that difference and what that difference makes available for people.
There are caveats to this. At times in your business, things will happen and what there will be to do is manage the crisis and treat things with urgency bordering on emergency. That, however (I hope) isn’t the norm. In my experience, the real drag of business is the mundanity of it and the mild stress of routine that, over time, becomes what we call “the grind.”
So, use exercises and practices like these and give Monday a break.
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